The Myth of “Having It All” — And What to Aim for Instead

There’s a phrase that sounds empowering… until you try to live it.

“You can have it all.”

On paper, it feels aspirational.
In real life? It often feels like a performance review you never signed up for.

A thriving career.
Happy kids.
Strong marriage.
Clean house.
Consistent workouts.
Deep friendships.
Creative fulfillment.
Eight hours of sleep.
Hydrated. Glowing. Calm.

Oh — and you’re enjoying it.

Let’s lovingly call this what it is: a myth.

Not because women aren’t capable. (You absolutely are.)
But because “all” implies everything, all at once, at full capacity.

And that’s not how real life works.

The Quiet Pressure Working Women Carry

We see this every day at Thrive.

Women who are thoughtful, driven, deeply capable — and quietly exhausted.

Not because they’re doing something wrong.
But because they’re trying to meet an invisible standard.

Somewhere along the way, “ambitious” started meaning:

Always growing.
Always achieving.
Always optimizing.
Always present.
Always grateful.

It’s a lot of “always.”

And if you’re a mom? Add another layer.
The internal narrative becomes:

If I’m succeeding at work, am I missing something at home?
If I’m present at home, am I falling behind at work?

It’s a tug-of-war that no one wins — because the rope is inside you.

The Problem With “All”

“All” assumes every area of your life should be thriving simultaneously.

But life moves in seasons.

There are seasons when:

Work demands more.
Family needs more.
Your health needs attention.
You’re rebuilding energy.
You’re dreaming something new into existence.

Trying to max out every category at once isn’t ambition — it’s unsustainable.

And when you inevitably feel stretched thin, the conclusion isn’t:

“This expectation is unrealistic.”

It’s:

“I must not be managing it well enough.”

That’s the trap.

What If We Aim for Alignment Instead?

Let’s swap out “having it all” for something better:

Alignment.

Alignment asks:

What matters most in this season?
Where does my energy need to go right now?
What is enough for today?

Notice how different that feels.

It’s not about doing everything.
It’s about choosing intentionally.

Redefining “Enough”

We don’t talk about “enough” very often because it sounds… suspiciously like settling.

It’s not.

“Enough” is clarity.

It might look like:

A simple dinner and a calm evening instead of a Pinterest-worthy meal.
A strong presentation — not a perfect one.
A 20-minute walk instead of a full workout.
Leaving one email for tomorrow.

Enough is not mediocrity.
It’s maturity.

It’s understanding that your capacity is finite — and choosing not to pretend otherwise.

Even Friendships Shift in Busy Seasons

This idea of alignment doesn’t just apply to work and family — it shows up in friendships, too.

In the latest episode of Everything In Between, Lynne and Braelyn explore how friendship changes as we grow. Lynne reflects on her decades-long friendship with Twyla and shares why she’s intentional — and selective — about the relationships she keeps close.

They talk about the kind of friendships that can go months without contact and still pick up right where they left off.

And here’s the quiet wisdom in that: Not every friendship has to look like constant communication to be meaningful.

In busy adult lives, connection evolves.

You can love someone deeply without texting daily.
You can maintain loyalty and boundaries at the same time.
You can honor your season without abandoning your people.

That’s alignment.

Friendship, like everything else, doesn’t have to be “all or nothing.”
It can simply be intentional.

Seasonal Success > Constant Success

Instead of asking, “How do I keep everything balanced?”
Try asking, “What’s primary right now?”

There are seasons of:

Building.
Stabilizing.
Healing.
Growing.
Holding steady.
Letting go.

And you are allowed to shift.

The most grounded women we know aren’t the ones doing everything.
They’re the ones who know what deserves their full energy in a given season — and what can be good enough.

That’s wisdom. Not weakness.

A Slightly Cheeky Reality Check

If “having it all” means:

Thriving at work
Thriving at home
Thriving socially
Thriving physically
Thriving emotionally
Thriving spiritually
Thriving in your side hustle
Thriving in your skincare routine

All at once…

Of course you’re tired.

You’re not behind.
You’re human.

And humans operate in rhythms, not straight lines.

A More Sustainable Definition of Success

What if success looked like this instead:

Clear priorities.
Energy that’s protected.
Relationships that feel present.
Work that aligns with your values.
A life that feels intentional — even when it’s full.

Not perfect.
Not optimized.
But aligned.

At Thrive, we believe working women don’t need more pressure to prove they can do it all.

They need:

Community.
Honest conversations.
Space to think.
Permission to define success on their own terms.

Because maybe the goal was never to have it all.

Maybe the goal is to build a life that feels whole — even in seasons when your plate is very, very full.

And maybe “enough” isn’t something to fear.

Maybe it’s freedom.

Thrive isn’t just a workspace; it’s a vibrant community of inspiring women who support and empower each other. With its beautiful decor, abundant amenities, and welcoming atmosphere, Thrive provides the perfect environment to boost productivity and achieve your professional goals. If you’re looking for a space to focus, connect, and grow, consider trying out Thrive for yourself. Join us and discover the difference a dedicated, empowering workspace can make in your life and career!

Schedule a tour here: https://calendly.com/thriveaz/thrive-tour